Breaking the Cycle: How EMDR Therapy for Women Can Stop Intergenerational Trauma
The patterns we learn from our family can shape us in beautiful ways. But sometimes, they carry a weight that doesn’t belong to us. You might feel a constant pressure to be perfect, a quiet anxiety that never leaves, or a sense of guilt when you try to rest. These feelings are often the echoes of past generations. They are not your fault. With the right support and tools, like EMDR therapy for women in Columbus, OH, you can begin to heal and move forward. Break the cycle and create a calmer, brighter future for yourself and your children.
What Is Intergenerational Trauma?
Intergenerational trauma is the idea that the experiences of our ancestors—their struggles, fears, and unresolved pain—can be passed down through generations. This kind of trauma doesn't always stem from what we call 'big T' traumas, such as war or major disasters. Instead, it can surface in much quieter ways. Perhaps you grew up in a home where emotions were not discussed, or where your mother always put her own needs last. Maybe you learned your role was to please everyone else.
These subtle but powerful lessons can leave a lasting imprint. You might not have clear memories of a specific traumatic event, but you feel its effects every day. This can show up as a constant feeling of being on high alert, as if you’re always waiting for something to go wrong. If you feel like you are repeating patterns you saw in your own parents, please know that this is a very common experience. Recognizing it is the brave first step toward creating change.
Signs You May Be Carrying Generational Patterns
Emotional patterns from our family history can be so deeply ingrained that we don’t even realize they are there. They feel like a part of our personality. Do any of these feel familiar to you? Becoming aware of them is the first step toward change.
A constant state of "doing": Did you learn from your mother or grandmother that it’s not okay to rest? You might feel a sense of guilt or shame when you try to relax, believing that your worth is tied to your productivity.
Difficulty with emotional connection: If you grew up in a home where vulnerability was seen as weakness, you might struggle to feel close to others, even your partner or children. You may feel numb or detached as a way to protect yourself.
A deep-seated anxiety: You may carry a persistent feeling of anxiety without knowing its source. This can be the result of a nervous system that learned from a young age that the world isn’t a safe place.
Trouble trusting others: If your early caregivers were unpredictable or emotionally unavailable, you might find it hard to trust that others will be there for you, leading you to second-guess their intentions.
The need to please everyone: Many women learn that their job is to keep the peace and avoid conflict at all costs. This can lead to difficulty saying "no," setting boundaries, and carrying a heavy sense of guilt for prioritizing your own needs.
These patterns often affect high-achieving women and overwhelmed moms who feel pressure to do everything perfectly, all while feeling like they are just barely getting by. It’s an exhausting way to live, but you don’t have to carry this burden forever. You're carrying a heavy load, and you deserve to find a way to ease it. Imagine what it would feel like to release some of that pressure and find more peace in your daily life.
How These Patterns Appear in Motherhood
The emotional blueprints we inherit often become most visible in our parenting. You want to be a present, attuned, and emotionally safe parent for your children, but these old patterns can get in the way. If you were taught to suppress your feelings, you might struggle to help your child navigate their big emotions. Constantly being in "fight, flight, or freeze" mode can mean your nervous system struggles to stay calm when your child is dysregulated.
You might find yourself reacting in ways you promised you never would, simply because your body is responding to an old, unconscious trigger. It can be heartbreaking to see these patterns repeat. But your awareness is a powerful tool. By understanding where these reactions come from, you can begin to heal them at their root and show up for your children in the way you’ve always wanted to.
How EMDR Therapy for Women Heals Inherited Trauma
This is where a profound shift can happen. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy for intergenerational trauma offers a gentle yet highly effective approach to processing past hurts. These experiences often settle deeply within, affecting not only your thoughts but also your physical sensations and reactions. We begin by kindly exploring the moments, feelings, or automatic responses that leave you feeling held back. Perhaps it’s a nagging sense of 'I'm not safe,' or the belief that 'I always have to do it alone.' We then gently connect these present struggles to their roots in earlier life experiences.
EMDR therapy is a little different from traditional talk therapy. It gently uses bilateral stimulation—like guided eye movements or soft tapping—to help your brain naturally integrate those unprocessed memories. It’s a process that supports your system in completing the processing cycle. This allows those overwhelming experiences to finally find their place without their former emotional charge. As your brain and nervous system work together, you can truly unburden yourself from old, painful narratives. You can then step into a new, authentic understanding of your own strength and worth.
The Emotional Shifts You Can Experience
As you begin to heal through EMDR, you may start to notice gentle but profound shifts in how you feel and behave. Women often describe a feeling of lightness, as if a heavy weight has been lifted from their shoulders. This newfound ease can truly transform your daily experiences, allowing you to engage with life more fully and with greater peace. You may find:
A sense of calm in your mind and body that you haven’t felt before.
Control over your thoughts, instead of feeling like they control you.
The ability to believe positive things about yourself—not just logically, but emotionally.
Renewed confidence in yourself and your ability to trust others.
Deeper, more meaningful connections with the people you love.
The feeling that you are thriving, not just surviving each day.
Healing allows you to become a more present and attuned parent. When your own nervous system is calm, you can offer that same sense of safety to your child. This is an opportunity to teach them what a healthy family dynamic looks like, where all emotions are welcome and needs are met with love and respect. It’s also a chance to finally find the joy in parenting that you deserve.
How to Begin Healing Today
If these words resonate with you, please know it's okay to feel this way. Be gentle and kind with yourself, always. Healing is truly a journey, not a race, and you don't have to tackle everything at once. Let's gently explore a few small steps you can take right now:
Practice self-compassion. When you feel overwhelmed or anxious, try speaking to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a child. You can tell your nervous system, "You are safe. You are okay." It’s a simple but powerful way to begin reparenting yourself.
Give yourself permission to rest. You do not have to earn rest. It is your right. Start with just five minutes a day to do nothing at all. Notice the guilt that may come up, and gently remind yourself that taking care of yourself allows you to better care for others.
Seek professional support. You don’t have to do this alone. Working with a therapist who specializes in trauma can provide a safe space to explore these patterns. If you are looking for EMDR therapy for women in Columbus, Ohio, finding a compassionate guide is a courageous step toward lasting change.
Breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and to your children. By healing your own wounds, you create a legacy of emotional freedom, safety, and love. If you’re ready to take that step, a qualified women's EMDR therapist in Columbus can walk alongside you on this transformative path. You have the strength to heal, and you are worthy of a life filled with peace and connection.
Ready to Break the Cycle? Find Healing with EMDR Therapy for Women in Columbus, OH
Perhaps these words have stirred something inside you—a quiet hope, a longing for change, or a gentle sense that you’re ready to begin healing. If the words in this post have touched a part of you that feels ready for something different, please know that this feeling is where healing begins. Deciding to break a cycle that began long before you is a courageous act of love for yourself and for your family. You deserve a future that is not defined by the weight of the past, but is instead filled with your own peace and presence.
As a women’s EMDR therapist, I am dedicated to helping you navigate this path. At Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, we can gently explore how EMDR therapy for women in Columbus, OH, can help you release the inherited burdens you’ve been carrying. We can work to quiet the inner critic, calm the anxiety, and reconnect you with the centered, joyful person you are meant to be.
Schedule your complimentary 15-minute therapy consultation today.
Discover more about my approach to EMDR therapy and how I can work together toward your healing.
This is the moment you can choose to write your own story—one of healing, freedom, and deep connection.
Other Therapy Services at Merrianna Holdeman Counseling
As you begin the work of breaking generational cycles, it’s common to notice other feelings coming to the surface. The process of healing inherited trauma often reveals how deeply it’s connected to other parts of your life. You might recognize a persistent current of anxiety that runs through your days or feel overwhelmed by the pressure to keep up. Perhaps you struggle with focus in a way that leaves you feeling depleted and behind. Many of the overwhelmed moms and high-achieving women I support are navigating these interconnected challenges. The weight of past trauma can often be intertwined with experiences of anxiety and even ADHD.
These elements can feed into one another, creating a difficult loop of emotional exhaustion and self-criticism that makes it hard to find moments of peace. Therapy offers a gentle space to address all of these pieces without judgment. It is a place where you are not expected to perform or be perfect. Here, you can be honest about the full scope of what you're feeling and receive compassionate support. That is why, in addition to EMDR, Merrianna Holdeman Counseling also offers dedicated services to help women find relief from anxiety, heal from trauma, and gain clarity around ADHD. You deserve support that sees and honors your whole experience.
About the Author
Merrianna Holdeman, LPCC, is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Ohio who is passionate about helping women break free from cycles of intergenerational trauma. She understands that the weight of the past can feel heavy, showing up as anxiety, overwhelm, and self-doubt. With specialized training in EMDR, Merrianna creates a warm and supportive space for her clients to heal these inherited wounds. Her approach is rooted in compassion, guiding women to understand their emotional patterns and empower them to create a new legacy of peace and confidence for themselves and their families.
