How EMDR Therapy Addresses the Lasting Effects of Abuse
Living with the weight of past experiences can feel overwhelming, even years after the events themselves have ended. If you are dealing with chronic anxiety, heaviness, or a constant sense of being on high alert, know that you are not alone. These feelings are valid responses to what you have endured. For those seeking support, EMDR Therapy for Women in Columbus, OH, offers a gentle pathway toward understanding these reactions and finding a sense of peace. Here, we will explore how Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can help you heal. It is a gentle path toward a future where you feel safer, calmer, and more connected to yourself.
Understanding the Lasting Effects of Abuse
When you have experienced abuse, whether recently or long ago, the impact often lingers in ways that might not immediately make sense. You might wonder why you still feel so affected when, logically, you know the danger has passed. It is common for survivors to experience ongoing symptoms like chronic anxiety, depression, or burnout. Your nervous system may be stuck in a sympathetic state, often called "fight, flight, or freeze."
This survival mode served a vital purpose during the abuse: it protected you. However, when the body stays in overdrive, trying to get through each day can feel exhausting. At times, even the most simple tasks can feel like the biggest obstacles to complete. You might find yourself feeling numb or detached from the people you love, or conversely, feeling irritable and easily angered.
When the Past Feels Like the Present
One of the most challenging aspects of healing is dealing with triggers or flashbacks. These are moments where a sound, a smell, or a situation reminds your body of the past abuse. It can feel as though it is happening all over again right now. You may notice a disconnect between your mind and your body. Logically, you might think, "I know I am safe right now." But emotionally and physically, your body screams that you are not.
This is a key indication that trauma is stored in the body. PTSD makes it difficult to feel safe in your own skin, regardless of what your rational mind understands. This disconnect can lead to heavy feelings of shame, blame, or guilt. You might ask yourself, "The abuse was so long ago; why can’t I just get over it already?"These thoughts can impact your daily living, work, parenting, and relationships. They make it difficult to connect with others because you are so focused on just coping.
The Hidden Struggles of Trauma Survivors
Sometimes, the effects of abuse show up in behaviors that we don't immediately label as "trauma." A women's EMDR therapist can help you recognize that what you may see as personality traits or personal failings are often deeply rooted coping mechanisms.
Perfectionism
If you were unable to experience positive and supportive relationships due to abuse, you may have learned that safety or love was conditional. This can cause you to constantly work harder, trying to "be good enough" to avoid criticism or harm. Perfectionism is an unrealistic expectation that fuels chronic anxiety. It is the tireless striving for a standard that doesn't exist, leaving you feeling like you are never quite enough.
People-Pleasing
Similarly, you might find yourself constantly trying to anticipate and meet the needs of others, often at the expense of your own well-being. This people-pleasing behavior is often a survival strategy learned to keep the peace or earn affection in volatile environments. Saying "yes" when you want to say "no" might feel safer, but it can leave you feeling drained and resentful. Do you find yourself prioritizing everyone else's happiness over your own?
Chronic Anxiety and Low Self-Worth
When an abuser makes everything your fault, you may begin to believe that something is inherently wrong with you. You might carry a deep-seated belief that if you could just be the perfect parent, wife, employee, or friend. Then, you would finally be worthy of love and kindness. This cycle feeds into low self-worth and constant anxiety.
Understanding that these challenges stem from trauma, not personal failings, allows you to approach your healing journey with greater self-compassion.
How EMDR Therapy in Columbus Helps Survivors Heal
Healing cannot begin without self-awareness. When we understand how trauma impacts the brain and body, we can start to make sense of our experiences. EMDR therapy in Columbus, OH, uses psychoeducation to help you connect the dots. You and your EMDR therapist will talk about PTSD and trauma symptoms, looking gently at where they started. This might involve discussing triggers, nightmares, or flashbacks. However, it also involves taking time to process those less obvious symptoms like perfectionism, shame, and guilt. EMDR is particularly powerful because it doesn't just work on a cognitive level. It helps bridge the gap between what you know and what you feel.
The goal is to move from "Logically I know I am safe, but emotionally I don't feel safe" to actually believing and feeling safe in your body. It helps shift beliefs from "I am to blame" to "I am good enough" or "I am worthy." EMDR targets specific memories of the abuse. Through a process called bilateral stimulation (often eye movements or tapping), we reprocess these "stuck" memories. Once specific targets are cleared, typically the brain generalizes this healing to other memories linked to the abuse. You do not have to worry about the overwhelming task of working through every single negative memory one by one. The brain is incredibly capable of healing when given the right tools.
Adapting EMDR to Each Client's Journey
Every person's journey is unique. Two people can experience the exact same trauma but cope with it and experience the aftermath in completely different ways. Therefore, therapy must be adapted to meet you exactly where you are. Some clients have done therapy work in the past and feel equipped to start the deeper processing right away. Others are new to therapy and need to begin by learning about their nervous system.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, we might start with somatic exercises to help you feel safe and comfortable in your body. The priority is to help you feel confident in your ability to regulate your nervous system when distress arises. It is not about the specific "type" of abuse you suffered, but rather about how you are experiencing life now and what your specific trauma responses are.
Supporting Delayed Realizations of Abuse
It is not uncommon for clients to come to EMDR therapy for anxiety, only to realize later that the anxiety stems from past trauma. When you have been raised in an abusive environment or have been in a long-term abusive relationship, the abnormal can start to feel normal. This is a common, and deeply painful, experience. It can be difficult to see the severity of the situation, or to recognize it as abuse at all, until you are removed from it or begin to heal.
Minimizing experiences is a common survival mechanism. EMDR supports this delayed realization gently. As you begin to feel safer, you may start to make connections you couldn't see before. We validate these realizations and work to release the anxiety and confusion that often accompany them.
Practical Tips for Starting Your Healing Journey
Do you feel stuck in that overdrive state of fight, flight, or freeze? There are small steps you can take right now to begin accessing your parasympathetic nervous system. This is the "rest and digest" state where healing happens. Here are three practices to help you find a moment of calm:
1. Guided Body Scan
Try starting with a simple 2-3 minute guided body scan. Close your eyes if it feels safe, and just notice how your body feels from your toes to your head. It may feel uncomfortable at first since your nervous system is not used to feeling calm. That is okay. Just notice the discomfort without judgment. The more you practice, the more familiar and comfortable safety will become.
2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Notice where tension is stored in your body. Are your shoulders raised? Is your jaw clenched? Progressive Muscle Relaxation involves tensing a muscle group (like squeezing your hands into fists) for a few seconds, and then releasing.By contracting the tension and then letting go, you can help your body recognize the difference between tension and relaxation. This process can help release stuck energy.
3. Gentle Movement and Stretching
Trauma is stored in the body, and sometimes we need to move to release it. Try simple body movements or stretching. This doesn't have to be intense exercise. Just moving your body with intention can help release tension and prepare your nervous system for the deeper work of therapy.
You Deserve to Heal
Healing from the lasting effects of abuse is not about erasing your past but about reclaiming your present. It is about getting trauma "unstuck" so that it no longer dictates your reactions, your relationships, or your sense of self-worth. The brain has an incredible capacity to heal itself, just as the body heals a physical wound. EMDR simply helps remove the obstacles blocking that natural process.
You deserve to feel safe, and you deserve to feel worthy. And you deserve to live a life where you are not just surviving, but truly living. If you are ready to take a step toward that life, reach out to a women's EMDR therapist in Columbus, OH. Support is available, and a gentler, lighter future is possible.
How Can EMDR Therapy for Women in Columbus, OH Help You Reclaim Peace?
Have you been waiting for the moment when you can finally exhale and feel truly safe in your own body? It is completely understandable if trust feels fragile right now—that is often a natural response to what you have survived. You are worthy of a healing space where your boundaries are honored, your pace is respected, and your nervous system is allowed to rest. At Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, I provide EMDR Therapy for Women in Columbus, OH, offering a gentle, specialized approach to help you release the heavy burdens of shame and fear. You do not have to carry the weight of the past forever. Together, we can work toward a life defined not by survival, but by genuine freedom and peace. If you are ready to begin that journey:
Schedule your complimentary 15-minute consultation today.
Learn about my approach as a therapist and how EMDR therapy for women can help you release the past and reclaim your present.
Your story matters, and a lighter future is possible.
Other Therapy Services at Merrianna Holdeman Counseling
As you navigate the path of healing after abuse, you may notice how deeply interconnected your experiences are—how trauma, fear, and the lingering effects of the past can touch so many parts of your life. Because of this, I offer a range of therapy services to meet you exactly where you are: ADHD Therapy, Somatic Therapy, Anxiety Therapy, and Trauma Therapy. Each service is designed with your unique needs and healing journey in mind.
You might find that the constant hum of vigilance makes it hard to find true rest. Focus can also feel impossible when your mind is preoccupied with survival. Navigating daily life, career pressures, and the weight of past abuse can all combine, leaving you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. It can even make you feel disconnected from those around you and from your own body. At Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, you’re supported as you work toward a sense of safety and clarity through personalized therapy—all delivered in-person for women who are ready to find deep healing and renewed connection in every area of life.
About the Author
Merrianna Holdeman, LPCC, is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Ohio dedicated to helping women navigate the path toward healing from the lasting effects of abuse. She specializes in EMDR therapy, offering a safe and compassionate space where overwhelmed moms and high-achieving women can gently process trauma. Merrianna is passionate about empowering her clients to release stored pain, reclaim their sense of worth, and build a future defined by safety and connection. Through her nurturing and evidence-based approach, she guides women toward finding peace and wholeness.
