Finding Safety Again: How EMDR Therapy Helps Survivors of Abuse Heal
If you are here reading this right now, it is likely because you have been carrying the weight of something no one should have to endure. Perhaps you have spent years holding it together, wearing a mask of perfectionism or high achievement while feeling shattered on the inside. Or maybe you feel entirely overwhelmed, as if the ground beneath you is constantly shifting. What would it feel like to finally feel safe again, in your own mind, in your own body, and in your own life? It is a question that might feel impossible to answer right now, but finding that answer is the heart of EMDR therapy in Columbus, OH.
For many women, the journey to healing feels like navigating a dark room without a light. You know there is a way out, but every step feels uncertain. It might leave you wondering if true peace is even possible after what you have experienced. We want you to know that your pain is valid, but it does not have to be your permanent reality. Healing is a journey of reclaiming your safety, and you do not have to walk that path alone.
The Aftermath of Abuse: Living in Survival Mode
When you have survived abuse, the threat doesn't simply vanish when the situation ends. The body and mind often stay on high alert, waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is what we call "survival mode." Does this sound familiar? You might find yourself constantly scanning your environment for danger, a state known as hypervigilance. Maybe you struggle to trust others, or even harder, to trust your own intuition. For many women, especially those balancing the demands of motherhood or a high-pressure career, this survival mode becomes a hidden hum in the background of daily life. You might be functioning incredibly well on the outside. Deadlines are met, children are cared for, and you show up for your friends.
But internally, there is a disconnect. You might feel numb, or conversely, feel emotions so intensely that they seem unmanageable. This isn't because you are broken. It is because your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you. It has learned that the world isn't safe, so it keeps you ready to fight, flight, or freeze at a moment's notice. Living in this state is exhausting. It depletes your spirit and keeps you from fully engaging with the joy and connection you deserve. But understanding this response is the first gentle step toward compassion for yourself. There is nothing "crazy" or "too sensitive" about you. Instead, you are a survivor whose system is working overtime to keep you safe.
Why Safety is the First Step in Healing
In the rush to "fix" ourselves, we often try to dive straight into the deep end of our trauma, hoping that if we just talk about it enough, it will go away. But for survivors of abuse, trying to process trauma without a foundation of safety can actually be re-traumatizing. Trauma disrupts the brain's fundamental sense of safety. It tells you that you cannot relax, that you must always be on guard. Therefore, before we can ask the brain to let go of the pain, we must first teach it that it is safe to do so.
This is why safety is the cornerstone of healing. It isn’t just about being physically safe in your environment; it is about cultivating a sense of safety within your own nervous system. It is about learning that your heart rate can slow down and your shoulders can drop. It's about teaching your body that your breath can deepen without danger striking. In therapy, I prioritize stabilization. I won't ask you to open up the deepest wounds in our first session. Instead, we'll focus on grounding. We will work on helping you find a place of stability so that when we do approach the hard memories, you have a solid anchor to hold onto.
How EMDR Therapy Helps Survivors Heal
You may have heard of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), but perhaps it sounds a bit mysterious or technical. At its core, EMDR therapy is a compassionate, structured therapy that helps your brain heal from emotional distress. For survivors of abuse, traditional talk therapy sometimes falls short. Trauma isn't just stored in our thoughts; it is stored in our bodies and nervous systems. You can logically know "it wasn't my fault," but still feel the shame in the pit of your stomach. EMDR bridges that gap.
Here is how it specifically supports survivors:
Reprocessing Without Reliving
One of the greatest fears survivors have is that therapy will force them to relive their worst moments. EMDR is different. It allows you to revisit traumatic memories in a controlled, safe way without being swept away by the original emotions. Imagine your trauma is a heavy, disorganized pile of papers on a desk that you are afraid to look at. EMDR therapy helps you file those papers away into a cabinet.
You still know the papers exist, you don't lose the memory of what happened, but they are no longer cluttering your workspace. The memory becomes something that happened then, not something that is happening now. This shift significantly reduces the power those memories hold over your daily life.
Tapping and Calming Your Nervous System
A gentle, core technique we use in EMDR is bilateral stimulation through tapping. This simply involves tapping on your body in a rhythmic, alternating pattern. This soft, repetitive motion helps keep you grounded. One foot remains in the memory of the past, while the other stays firmly and safely in the present moment.
Does it feel like you’ve been living in a constant state of high alert? This rhythmic tapping helps your brain "digest" heavy experiences, allowing your nervous system to finally exhale. Many women I work with describe it as a literal loosening of the knot in their chest, helping them move from survival mode back into a place of peace and calm.
Building Inner Resources
Before any trauma processing begins, EMDR focuses heavily on "resourcing." We work together to build a toolkit of coping strategies. This might include visualizing a "safe place" where you feel completely protected. You could also practice specific breathing exercises that signal safety to your body. These resources are yours to keep, helping you feel more in control not just in therapy, but when you are navigating stress in your everyday life.
Tailored to Your Needs
Your story is unique, and your healing needs to be too. EMDR is not a rigid, one-size-fits-all protocol. For those who have survived abuse, we may gently focus on the specific triggers that weigh on your heart. Perhaps we’ll explore the anxiety that rises when a voice is raised, or the heavy burden of perfectionism you've been carrying for so long. We move at your pace. If you need to spend weeks just building safety and trust before processing a memory, that is exactly what we will do. You are in the driver's seat.
Rebuilding a Sense of Safety Through EMDR
Ultimately, the goal of EMDR therapy in Columbus, OH, is to help you rebuild a sense of safety that comes from within. It is about reconnecting with your body in a way that feels empowering rather than frightening. Trauma often leaves us with negative core beliefs like "I am not enough," "I am powerless," or "I am permanently damaged." These beliefs can feel like absolute truths. Through EMDR, we gently challenge these narratives.
We work to replace them with truths that serve your healing, such as "I am strong," "I survived," and "I am worthy of love." As these new beliefs take root, you may notice shifts in your daily life. Setting boundaries might become easier, and you may find yourself sleeping better or breathing a little deeper. This is the feeling of safety returning. It is the realization that your past does not have to dictate your future.
The Unique Needs of Women in Trauma Recovery
As women, we often face unique societal pressures that can complicate the healing process. We are frequently taught to be the caregivers, the peacekeepers, and the ones who hold everything together. When you are a survivor of abuse, these expectations can feel suffocating. You might feel selfish for taking time for therapy or guilty for spending money on your own mental health. There is often a stigma around prioritizing ourselves, as if our value is tied only to how much we do for others.
But here is a gentle reminder: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Working with a women's EMDR therapist in Columbus means working with someone who understands these nuanced dynamics. It means having a space where you don't have to perform or pretend. It is a space where the invisible load of motherhood, career, and societal expectations is acknowledged and validated. You deserve a therapist who understands that your trauma does not exist in a vacuum, but is woven into the complex tapestry of being a woman in this world.
Practical Steps to Begin Your Healing Journey
Starting therapy can feel overwhelming, and it’s normal to feel a bit unsure. It takes courage to say, "I’m ready for change." If you’re feeling hesitant, that’s okay. Here are a few simple steps you can take when you’re ready:
Listen to your intuition. When researching women's EMDR therapists, pay attention to how you feel when you read their words or see their photos. Do you feel a sense of warmth? Does their approach resonate with you?
Start with a consultation. Most EMDR therapists offer a brief consultation call. This is a low-pressure way to ask questions and see if you feel comfortable. You can ask about their experience with EMDR and how they approach safety.
Prepare for the process. Healing is not a straight line. There will be days that feel heavy and days that feel light. Give yourself permission to rest. Create a small self-care routine; even if it's just five minutes of tea in the morning, to anchor you.
Be patient with yourself. You didn't get here overnight, and healing won't happen overnight either. That is okay. Every small step you take is a victory.
You Deserve to Feel Safe Again
We want to leave you with this truth, even if you struggle to believe it right now: Healing is not just possible, it is your birthright. Waking up without the heavy blanket of dread is something you deserve. Feeling safe in your body, confident in your choices, and at peace with your story is your right. The abuse you survived is part of your history, but it does not have to be the architect of your future.
If you recognize your own story in these words and feel a sense of weight you can no longer carry, please know you are not alone. It takes incredible courage to look at these deep-seated patterns and decide you are ready for a different future. When you are ready, I am here to walk beside you, offering the gentle safety, support, and guidance you need to find your way back to yourself.
How Can EMDR Therapy in Columbus, OH Help You Reclaim Your Sense of Safety?
Have you ever wished for a space where your healing feels truly seen and understood? A place where your story is met with compassion, not judgment? You deserve care that honors the depth of your experiences and the strength it has taken to carry them. At Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, my approach to EMDR therapy in Columbus, OH is rooted in creating a safe, supportive environment where you can begin to let go of the weight you’ve been carrying. Whether you’re working through the pain of past abuse, the overwhelm of daily life, or the struggle to feel whole again, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Together, we can help you reclaim your sense of safety and rediscover the peace you deserve. If you’re ready to take the next step:
Schedule your complimentary 15-minute consultation today.
Discover my approach to EMDR Therapy and how I can help you heal, rebuild, and move forward with confidence.
You are worthy of healing, and your journey toward peace starts here.
Other Therapy Services at Merrianna Holdeman Counseling
As you take steps toward reclaiming your sense of safety and healing from trauma, you may begin to notice how interconnected your experiences are. Abuse, stress, and even feelings of disconnection can ripple through every part of your life. To support you fully on this journey, I offer a range of therapy services tailored to meet your unique needs: ADHD Therapy, Somatic Therapy, Anxiety Therapy, and Trauma Therapy. Each service is designed with care and compassion, honoring your individual path toward healing.
You might find that the weight of past trauma makes it difficult to feel grounded or present in your daily life. Anxiety can feel like a constant companion, making it hard to focus or find peace. The demands of motherhood, career pressures, and unresolved pain can leave you feeling depleted and disconnected—from yourself, your loved ones, and even your faith. At Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, you’ll find a safe and supportive space to work toward wholeness and clarity. Through personalized, in-person therapy for women, you can begin to rediscover a sense of safety, connection, and hope in every area of your life.
About the Author
Merrianna Holdeman, LPCC, is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Ohio dedicated to helping survivors of abuse find safety and healing through EMDR therapy. With a compassionate and faith-centered approach, Merrianna creates a nurturing space where women can process their trauma and rebuild their sense of peace and purpose. She specializes in working with women who feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or burdened by their past, guiding them toward deep healing and renewed strength. By integrating evidence-based EMDR techniques with the comfort of spiritual beliefs, Merrianna empowers her clients to release the weight of their trauma and reclaim their lives with hope and confidence.
