How Does EMDR Therapy for Women Help With Intergenerational Trauma You Didn’t Even Realize You Carried?
Have you ever felt like you’re carrying a weight you can’t quite explain? A persistent feeling of anxiety, a need to please everyone, or a sense of guilt when you take even a moment for yourself? For many overwhelmed moms and high-achieving women, these feelings are a constant companion. You might not realize that these burdens aren't entirely your own. They can be echoes of the past, passed down through generations. This is known as intergenerational trauma, and healing is possible. With approaches like EMDR therapy for women in Columbus, OH, you can begin to unpack these inherited patterns and find a path to emotional freedom.
You are not alone in this experience. Working with an experienced EMDR therapist can help you uncover and heal these inherited patterns. Many women carry emotional burdens that were passed down without their knowledge, shaping their reactions, relationships, and self-worth. This blog will gently guide you through understanding intergenerational trauma and how it shows up in your life. We'll also explore how Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy can help you heal these deep, often hidden, wounds.
What Is Intergenerational Trauma?
In simple terms, intergenerational trauma is trauma that gets passed down from one generation to the next. It’s not about the specific stories or events being retold; it’s about the emotional and behavioral patterns that stick around long after the initial experience has ended. If you grew up in a family where emotions were seen as a weakness or where you were told to “just get over it," those coping mechanisms likely became your norm. This can happen in many ways. Parents who are emotionally disconnected or who survived their own trauma may unconsciously pass on their survival strategies. These can look like:
Emotional suppression: Being taught that it’s not safe or acceptable to cry, show anger, or express vulnerability.
Unhealthy communication: Learning to avoid conflict at all costs or not knowing how to express your needs clearly.
Avoidant behaviors: Shying away from difficult conversations or situations to keep the peace.
Anxious or avoidant attachment styles: Finding it hard to form secure, trusting bonds in your relationships.
These patterns become so deeply ingrained in a family’s dynamics that they feel normal. You might not even question why you feel guilty for resting or why you feel intense anxiety before a meeting with your boss. You just know that this is how you feel. Breaking this cycle starts with recognizing that these patterns exist and that they may not have started with you.
How Intergenerational Trauma Shows Up in Women’s Lives
For many women, especially high-achievers and mothers, the weight of intergenerational trauma often manifests as an endless cycle of doing for others. Does any of this sound familiar to you? You might find yourself taking on the majority of household responsibilities, caring for everyone but yourself, and feeling a deep sense of guilt if you even think about taking a break. This isn’t a personal failing; it’s often a learned behavior. If you grew up seeing the women in your family put everyone else’s needs first, you likely learned that this is what is expected of you.
Here are some common ways this can show up in your life:
People-Pleasing: You find it incredibly difficult to say "no." You put everyone else's needs and wants above your own because you don't feel safe or comfortable expressing your own desires.
Conflict Avoidance: The thought of a disagreement makes your stomach turn. You would rather suppress your feelings and go along with things than face a difficult conversation.
Perfectionism: You strive to be the perfect mom, the perfect employee, and the perfect partner, holding yourself to an impossible standard. This often comes with a persistent inner critic telling you that you’re never doing enough.
Ongoing Anxiety or Depression: Over time, suppressing your emotions and needs can lead to chronic anxiety, depression, or overlooked trauma symptoms.
Physical Symptoms: You might have a heightened startle response or feel your body tense up in situations that seem perfectly normal to others, like your boss asking for a quick chat.
Many women I work with only begin to connect these dots when we start unpacking their experiences together. They come to EMDR therapy for women for anxiety or feeling overwhelmed, not realizing that their feelings are connected to deep-seated family patterns. It’s a moment of clarity when you realize that these feelings are not your fault. Together, we can gently explore these connections and find a path toward understanding and healing.
How Can EMDR Therapy for Women in Columbus, OH Help?
If you’re carrying trauma that isn’t directly remembered or consciously understood, how can you possibly heal it? This is where EMDR therapy for women offers a unique and powerful path forward. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which primarily engages the logical part of your brain, EMDR helps connect the logical and emotional sides of your brain. The process often starts with what you’re feeling right now. We identify the triggers that cause your anxiety, your need for perfection, or your feelings of inadequacy. An EMDR therapist will guide you through this process with care and expertise. From there, we explore the negative beliefs you hold about yourself that are tied to these triggers. A belief like, "I am not good enough," or "I am not safe."
Then, we begin to dig deeper. Using bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements), we help your brain make new connections. This process can access memories and emotions that have been "stuck." It allows your brain to reprocess these experiences from a place of safety. You don't have to relive the trauma; instead, you process it so that it no longer has the same emotional charge. It helps get the trauma that is stored in your body unstuck, allowing you to finally release it.
What Insights Do Women Gain Through EMDR?
One of the most beautiful transformations I witness in my work is when a woman begins to truly believe she is worthy. A client might say, "Logically, I know I am safe," but she doesn’t feel it in her body. EMDR therapy helps bridge that gap. Women commonly uncover insights they never expected. They move from beliefs like:
"I have to be perfect" to "My best is good enough."
"I cannot show my emotions" to "I can show my emotions safely."
"I have to please everyone" to "I can honor my own needs."
"I cannot succeed" to "I can and will succeed."
This isn't just about positive thinking. This is about a deep, cellular shift. Your mind and body can finally get on the same page, allowing you to feel a sense of calm and confidence that may have felt out of reach for your entire life. It’s a profound change that you can feel in your very core.
The Ripple Effect of Healing
When you heal these inherited wounds, the effects ripple out into every area of your life. Healing helps you show up differently in your relationships, as a parent, and in your career. With the support of an EMDR therapist, you can develop healthier communication styles and build confidence in your relationships. You’ll gain more confidence and clarity about who you are as an individual, separate from the roles you play. This allows you to develop healthier communication styles and set boundaries with love and respect. You’ll learn how to regulate your nervous system, allowing you to feel more present with your children, your partner, and your colleagues. That constant self-doubt begins to fade, replaced by a quiet confidence in your abilities.
Practical Tips for You to Start With Right Now
Healing is a journey, and it starts with small, gentle steps. If you’re recognizing yourself in these words, here are a few things you can do right now to begin connecting with yourself and your body. Remember, you don't have to tackle everything at once; even the smallest changes can create a ripple effect. Allow yourself the grace to start exactly where you are.
Connect With Your Nervous System: So many of our memories are stored in the body. When your thoughts are racing, give yourself a break and do a simple body scan. Lie down, close your eyes, and bring your attention to your toes. Slowly move your focus up through your body, just noticing any sensations without judgment.
Find Time for You: This can feel incredibly difficult, but it is so important. Start small. Can you find five minutes, twice a day, just for you? It might feel uncomfortable at first, but know that you are just as deserving of care as everyone else. How you show up for yourself matters.
Practice Mindfulness Without Judgment: Find a quiet place to sit for just a couple of minutes. Notice what emotions come up. What sensations do you feel in your body? The goal is not to fix or change anything, but simply to notice. This practice builds your capacity to sit with discomfort and allows your emotions to be seen.
Move Your Body: Trauma and anxiety can create pent-up energy in the body. Gentle movement, like stretching, walking, or dancing, can help release it. Put on a song you love and just let your body move.
Why EMDR Therapy in Columbus, Ohio, Could Be Your Next Step
Reading this blog is a wonderful first step. You are building awareness, and that is where all change begins. If you feel ready to go deeper and truly break the cycle of intergenerational trauma, I encourage you to seek support. Finding an EMDR therapist in Columbus can provide you with a safe, supportive space to do this transformative work. An EMDR therapist can help you navigate the complexities of intergenerational trauma with compassion and skill.
You do not have to carry this heavy burden alone anymore. Healing is not only possible—it is your birthright. You are worthy of feeling light, free, and fully yourself. Taking the step to begin therapy is an act of profound love for yourself and for the generations that will come after you. You can be the one who breaks the cycle.
Ready to Break the Cycle? Explore EMDR Therapy for Women in Columbus, OH
If you recognize your own story in these words and feel a sense of weight you can no longer carry, please know you are not alone. It takes incredible courage to look at these deep-seated patterns and decide you are ready for a different future. You deserve to feel free, confident, and at peace within yourself. At Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, we can explore how EMDR Therapy for Women in Columbus, OH, can help you release the inherited burdens holding you back and reconnect with your authentic self.
Are you ready to take the next step? Schedule your free 15-minute consultation today to learn more about my approach as an EMDR therapist for women and how we can work together.
Let this be the moment you take a gentle, powerful step toward breaking the cycle and embracing lasting healing.
Other Therapy Services at Merrianna Holdeman Counseling
If the idea of healing these inherited patterns with EMDR therapy for women feels right, but you also sense there’s more underneath, you’re not alone. Many of us carry persistent anxiety, the weight of past events, or feel scattered and overwhelmed. Many of the overwhelmed moms and high-achieving women I support also struggle with anxiety, trauma, and ADHD. These are challenges that can make it hard to feel calm, stay present, or move forward with the confidence you want.
That’s why at Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, I offer specialized services for women navigating the overlapping demands of emotional overwhelm, high expectations, and constant self-pressure. If you have been wondering what it might feel like to have a space that is not about performing or pushing through, therapy can offer that. It is a place to be real, honest, and truly supported as you find your way back to yourself.
About the Author
Merrianna Holdeman, LPCC, is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor providing a compassionate and safe space for healing in Ohio. She specializes in guiding women weighed down by intergenerational trauma, anxiety, and overwhelm toward a life filled with more joy and clarity. With warmth and a deeply held belief that everyone deserves to feel heard, Merrianna meets clients where they are, without judgment. She integrates specialized training in EMDR to help you understand the origins of your feelings and empower you to move forward. Merrianna is dedicated to creating a comfortable environment where you can do the deep work to thrive.
