Holiday Rituals, Family Patterns & Intergenerational Trauma: Using EMDR Therapy for Women to Walk Into The Season Differently
The holiday season often arrives with a complicated mix of joy and pressure. For many, it can feel like a heavy emotional weight, especially when navigating complex family dynamics and the quiet echoes of unresolved trauma. If this time of year feels more stressful than celebratory, please know you are not alone in feeling this way. There is a path to healing that can help you show up with more presence and peace. Using EMDR therapy for women in Columbus, OH, it is possible to walk into this season differently, and there is so much hope for healing.
Why the Holidays Can Feel So Overwhelming for Women
Society often places women in the role of primary caregiver. This position comes with immense stress and the pressure to create a "perfect" holiday for everyone else. The to-do list seems endless: decorating, shopping, cooking, planning, and managing everyone's expectations. All the while, you might feel the need to mask your own struggles, striving to keep everything together seamlessly. It's as if you're screaming on the inside, but feel compelled to show no one.
If you are already just trying to survive each day, barely tolerating added stress, the holidays can feel like that stress multiplied by ten. This pressure cooker of expectations can lead to intense distress. For those with unresolved trauma, the holiday season can also be incredibly triggering, causing a spike in symptoms that make it even harder to cope. You might also feel a deep sense of responsibility for the emotions of those around you. Perhaps you believe that if you do everything perfectly, everyone else will be okay.
The Role of Intergenerational Trauma in Holiday Stress
Sometimes, the emotional burdens we carry did not start with us. Intergenerational trauma refers to the way trauma's effects can be passed down through generations. This can shape family patterns, unspoken rules, and emotional roles that become deeply ingrained. You might not even be consciously aware of these patterns. Yet, they deeply influence how you show up, especially during the holidays.
Holiday rituals and family gatherings can reopen old wounds. Being in a specific house, hearing certain sounds, or even smelling a familiar scent can make it feel like a past trauma is happening all over again in the present moment. If the trauma is connected to your family, being around them can make you feel like your child self again. This can strip away the confidence you've built as an adult. These experiences can leave you feeling small, unheard, or like a shell of the person you truly are.
Common Emotional Responses Women Experience
It is common to feel a heightened sense of overwhelm, burnout, sadness, and isolation during this season. You might even feel this way when surrounded by people. Anxiety can hum beneath the surface, and you might feel like you are just in survival mode. Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
"I feel like I should have it all together."
"Everyone around me makes it look so easy. Why am I having such a hard time?"
"What is wrong with me?"
"I feel like I'm suffocating and can't keep it together."
So many women compare their internal struggles to the polished exteriors of friends or family, leading to feelings of inadequacy. It’s important to remember that these feelings are valid. They are not a reflection of your worth, but a sign that you are carrying a heavy load. You are not alone in feeling this way.
How EMDR Therapy for Women Can Help You Heal and Navigate the Holidays
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is a powerful approach that can help you heal from these deep-seated wounds. It works by helping your brain reprocess distressing memories that have become "stuck," allowing you to find relief from the emotional charge they carry. In therapy, we start by identifying the stuck patterns and the negative beliefs that have grown from them, like "I am not good enough" or "My needs don't matter." We then create a list of memories where you felt these beliefs and begin to reprocess them.
This gentle process helps connect the logical and emotional parts of your brain. As a result, you can truly embrace and believe a new, positive truth about yourself, such as "I am good enough." EMDR can be used to target specific holiday-related memories or emotional flashbacks tied to your past. By desensitizing these triggers, you can reduce the distress they cause and build lasting emotional resilience. The goal isn't to forget the memory, but to heal from it so it no longer holds power over you.
Preparing Emotionally for Triggering Family Environments
EMDR therapy is not just about processing the past; it is also about preparing for the future. A women's EMDR therapist in Columbus can equip you with grounding and resourcing techniques to help you self-regulate during high-stress moments. Using bilateral stimulation, the core component of EMDR, we can reprocess a distressing memory until you can recall it with little to no distress. The "D" in EMDR stands for desensitization. This therapy helps desensitize the memory, so you can step back into a family environment without feeling like the trauma is happening all over again.
I offer a range of resources that we practice together in session so you can feel confident using them on your own. We focus on making connections between your mind and body, helping you feel safe enough to notice and feel your emotions. With somatic and grounding exercises, you can learn to regulate your nervous system and manage your emotions with confidence, even when distress feels heightened. This can be especially helpful for overwhelmed moms and high-achieving women who feel immense pressure to hold everything together.
Practical Tips for Managing Holiday Stress Right Now
While therapy is a journey, there are things you can do in this moment to find some calm and stay present. We understand how overwhelming things can feel sometimes, and it's okay to seek small moments of peace. These little actions can make a big difference in how you feel right now. Here are three tips you can try right now:
Ground Yourself with Your Five Senses: When you feel overwhelmed, take a break. Go into another room and run cold water over your hands. Notice the sensation of the water with your sense of touch. Listen to the sound of the faucet. Look around and name five things you can see. Is there a smell that makes you feel safe? Can you chew on a piece of gum or a mint and focus on the texture and taste? This brings you back to the present moment.
Try Box Breathing: This simple technique can help regulate your nervous system. Inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for four, exhale for four, and hold again for four. This gives your thoughts a break as you focus on your body. If four seconds feels too long, try three. Find a rhythm that works for you.
Practice Self-Compassion: Gently remind yourself that you are doing enough. Your needs matter. You are allowed to have opinions and emotions. Take a moment to notice how you truly feel. If it's overwhelming, take a few deep breaths and just notice that feeling. Allow space for the emotion and notice where it shows up in your body.
Recognizing and Breaking Free From Inherited Emotional Roles
Many women unconsciously repeat inherited emotional roles: the peacemaker, the over-giver, the invisible one. You may not realize you're doing this until you begin exploring these patterns in therapy. A sign that you are carrying burdens that didn't start with you is feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. This can lead to perfectionism and a constant feeling of never being good enough. Another sign is holding in all your emotions, never allowing yourself space to talk about how you truly feel.
EMDR therapy for women helps you uncover these roles and release yourself from their grip. It offers a path to long-term healing from intergenerational trauma, fostering a sense of safety, self-worth, and emotional freedom. You deserve to feel at peace this holiday season. Healing is a journey, and you are taking a brave first step by seeking support and understanding. If you are ready to explore how EMDR therapy can help you walk into the season differently, please reach out to a women's emdr therapist in Columbus today. You can step into the holidays with confidence and calm.
What Could EMDR Therapy for Women in Columbus, OH Help You Find This Holiday Season?
Perhaps as you’ve read this, something inside feels recognized—a quiet hope, a longing for things to be different this holiday season. Please know that this is where healing begins. Choosing to care for your own emotional well-being is a powerful act of kindness to yourself. You deserve to navigate family gatherings with a sense of inner peace, free from the weight of past hurts.
Here at Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, I specialize in guiding women through this very process. As a women’s EMDR therapist, I can help you explore how EMDR therapy for women in Columbus, OH, can support you. This therapy can gently unburden you from patterns that were never yours to carry. Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self, allowing you to be present and at ease.
Schedule your complimentary 15-minute therapy consultation today.
Discover more about my approach as an EMDR therapist and how we can work together toward your healing.
This is the moment to choose a new way of experiencing the holidays—one of calm, confidence, and connection.
Other Therapy Services at Merrianna Holdeman Counseling
As you begin to untangle the holiday stress and family patterns discussed here, you may notice other challenges coming to the surface. The weight of intergenerational trauma is often intertwined with other feelings. Perhaps you experience a constant undercurrent of anxiety, feel depleted by life's demands, or find it hard to focus in a way that leaves you feeling exhausted. Many of the overwhelmed moms and high-achieving women I support are navigating more than just the echoes of the past. They are often also managing the very real, present-day challenges of anxiety, trauma, and ADHD.
These experiences can create a difficult cycle, where the pressure to create a perfect holiday meets intense self-criticism and emotional overwhelm, making it feel impossible to find peace. Therapy is a space to address all of these connected pieces. It is a place where you do not have to perform or pretend everything is okay. It is an opportunity to be honest about your full experience and receive gentle support as you find your way back to a life that feels more balanced and true to you. That’s why at Merrianna Holdeman Counseling, I offer specialized services for women ready to heal from anxiety and trauma and find clarity with ADHD.
About the Author
Merrianna Holdeman, LPCC, is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Ohio who is passionate about helping women navigate the complexities of holiday stress and family dynamics. She provides a warm, non-judgmental space for those feeling the weight of intergenerational trauma, anxiety, and overwhelm. With specialized training in EMDR, Merrianna guides her clients with deep compassion, helping them release inherited burdens and find peace. Her practice is built on the belief that every woman deserves to feel calm and confident, especially during seasons that can feel challenging.
